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Not a D.R. resident... yet, but a coffee lover nonetheless: on my first cup as I peck these words on the keyboard. Next: 2nd cup between 5 and 6 PM EST.

Hello, Teacher1.

Norm was a natural. Loved him, too. And in the deadpan and one-liner department, Steven Wright is the king. One day I'll watch old Lenny Bruce videos and find out what made him great.

Saw a couple of green birds in an arial surveillance maneuver ahead of the drone at the 8:19 mark.

George Carlin was my favorite, too. And I absolutely liked Jonathan Winters.

One of my favorites. Saw him perform once in H-town. He started playing as a young kid, sitting with some heavyweights in and around St. Louis years before reaching adulthood.

So many shoes are made for walking and... If my better half had 100 pairs of shoes, she'll walk all over me.

We have several Imelda Marcos in our midst.

I stand corrected, sir. Thank you.

At the risk of placing emPHAsis on the wrong syLLAble, I'd be inclined to command one of those high compensatory salaries by helping to instruct teachers in the Verón-Bávaro-PC area next school year.

According to articles I've read, envy and resentment of successful folks and overachievers are almost universal traits. I'm Dumb-minican, and I'm envious of math geniuses and saxophone virtuosos. On fake jewelry: I'm currently wearing a CHEAP US$84.00 Rolex GMT-Master II (Pepsi) knock-off...

Fear not, General Big: The Restaurante Mila staff takes one good look at me, and they'll tell me the dishwasher position is already filled. If I hadn't baptized Cobraboy with the "Jethro" moniker, I'd assign it to you. Too bad. 1/2 Jethro, maybe? As in, What's up, half Jethro? ¿KLK, medio...

The Dominican southern provinces have given us chenchén, Villa Mella los chicharrones, and Cabarete mashed plantain. Man... GOOD! Larry "The Cable Guy": "I don't care who you are... that's pretty funny right there."

Rumor has it that Windy co-wrote "The Entertainer," but Scott Joplin received all the credit.

Considering that Windy's a musician, he prolly remembers when he played "Stompin' at the Savoy" pre-WWII, and/or being the opening act for the Glenn Miller Orchestra. I bet he once shook hands with Thelonious Monk.

On your way to Abinader's house, lunch is on me... at Mila's.

I resemble that remark. By the way, Florida's collective IQ plummeted with my arrival last July. Higüey and Bávaro-Punta Cana, beware: YOUR collective IQ will skyrocket to exospheric level by mi-August.

I wish I could afford Tulum and Isla Mujeres some day.

What's the difference between cacti and Porsches?

Appalachian Bob? Any of your kinfolks in "Deliverance"? According to Tom Petty and the HB, Ned Beatty Had the hardest part